I woke at 6.30 today. Wobbled my way to the toilet. Did my business. Flushed. Then wobbled back to bed.
Too Tired. Body still too sore from Saturday. So I pulled the covers over my head.
Just as I was about to dip back into a dream, something tugged me out. A fleeting thought left a faint scent of necessity in its wake.
Ignoring it, I turned my head away from the light and drove it deeper into my pillow.
Just then, like a mosquito buzzing by my ear, came another one… “You can’t train on Friday, so you’d better go today.”
“Yeah but I’m sore. And I’m already pretty fit. Skipping today won’t matter.”
“That’s bullshit. You need to move. You are just stiff. You are fit because you don’t skip.”
Begrudgingly I dragged my body out of bed again and wobbled into the living room.
I stood there motionless for a moment before slapping the light switch on with a grunt.
“You’re an ass.”
“I know. But you created me,” said the voice of my habit.
I argued with him during my light jog through a cold central London at sunrise.
Now, two hours later, after a run and a CrossFit workout, as I sit having breakfast at one of my favourite spots in Borough Market, we are friends again- my habit and me.
I remember why I made him:
Sometimes my heart is just not strong enough to get me into action; not strong enough to do those things I would most love for myself and the world.
My heart won’t always get me out of bed in the morning.
My heart won’t have me find one person to serve every day.
My heart won’t have me write or create something new every day.
But my habits will.
Habits aren’t very smart, but they are strong. They are dependable. They will always beat you in an argument.
Habits are like an army. They can go to battle for you or against you.
Have habits that serve your heart.
Build your army.